A MAN’S WORLD (STIGMATIZATION, EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND PRESSURIZATION)

The idea of writing this article came as a result of a discussion I had with a 400 level Economics student of Adekunle Ajasin University Akungba-Akoko (AAUA) in person of Mr. Kunu Precious. Our discussion was centered on men’s stigmatization, emotional abuse and pressurization. He believes that men are more stigmatized than women in the society we live in today. And come to think of it, why should a man who loves to wear or use colours like pink or red be referred to as being feminine or gay? Worse still, why would anyone who enters into a man’s room and find these colours on the wall, rug, bed and so on say, “Oh!! your room looks like that of a woman”. There is a question I have for us; when we were introduced to primary and secondary colours, were we also introduced to masculine and feminine colours? If you would ask me, I think men and women should be free to use which ever colours they love without the fear of the gay or lesbian stigmatization.

Another case is that of the spas and massaging parlours , when women go there, there is no cause for alarm but once a man is spotted doing manicure or pedicure especially in this part of the world, eyebrows will start raising. Should a man’s skin and body care be limited only to #150 vase-line? Understood, not all men care about skin care or the likes but what about those that care, should they be referred to as being feminine?

Another point that got my attention in our discussion was when he said, “Women cry about gender equality all the time and want to be treated as the men yet they want 99% of the responsibities on the men even when it is not convenient for these men”. Why is this so?

In addition, he also said something about Emotional abuse, “We fight domestic violence for women but what about the emotional abuse the women cause for the men that we as men are not permitted to say or do anything about. A woman will call you all sorts of names, break your heart and you dare not say anything, all that is expected of you as a man is to walk away. Some women even beat up their husbands and once we hear, we just laugh about it seeing it as a form of comedy. We then ask questions like, why do men die on time? why do men not stay at home?” I guess these are questions to ponder about.

Finally, talking about pressurization for men, “Why would a man be pressurized to commit adultery or drink alcohol because he thinks his friends will think less of him as a man? A man is a man under any circumstance, why must you as a man need to prove that you are a man?” Think about it.

©OLAGBENDE REBECCA OLUWABUKUNMI