How do you Treat People?

Most of the time we all want people to treat us the way we would treat them but the truth of the matter is that, "how many of us treat people right?" To buttress my point, let me share this story. I went for a Make-Up job around late last month. On getting there, I met another makeup artist (let me explain, it was an event center so any celebrant was allowed to come with their own makeup artist).

So I walked up to this Make-Up artist,  introduced myself with all purity of heart as a fellow Make-up artist who would be working alongside with her at the event center. You need to see the way this lady reacted like I was a low-life coming to beg at the party. She did not even return my kind gesture in the least way by just telling me her name. Well, later on I saw that she came with a car of her own and she probably thought I was not as good as she was in that field because I did not come with a car but I mean, we could still meet some other day and my first impression about her was already messed up.

Another scenario a friend told me about happened when she went to buy foodstuffs about four streets to her street (in her area). She said she is not familiar with the people there, so, she normally pass by quietly each time she has a business there. This particular day, she visited a store on that street. On getting there, she discovered the money she wanted to use to buy foodstuffs had somehow disappeared. She then decided to trace the money back the way she had come. On getting to a house close by, she saw a woman who was sitting in front of the house with her kids and they were all looking at each other in a strange way but she didn't mind and kept moving towards the main market. Suddenly, she recollected that she did not pass through the main market on her way to the store so she decided to retrace her steps and continue her search for the money in the direction of the store.

Lo and behold!!! As she turned back, she saw the mother of the kids she saw earlier bend over the money with the intention of keeping it in her waistcoast. A lot of things immediately flipped through her mind in a matter of seconds ranging from the fact that the woman and her kids actually saw the money fall in the first place to the fact that she watched her suffer in frustration all the time she was looking for the money without saying a word. After listening to this story, the only thing that came to my mind was "how do we treat people? ", I mean,  "how has this woman taught her kids to treat people via her own behaviour?"

Treating people bad especially for no reason at all is simply wickedness (of the highest order). Why would we even choose to be bad and ill-mannered when we can be good and as sweet as a rose. It sure does not cause a thing to be good natured. Infact being bad is costlier. Look at someone who has friends that do not support and would never support any of his/her hustle. Support does not necessarily mean you have to pay all or part of the bills,  you just have to be positive, help do the promotion of that your friend in the little way you can, tell people about him or her, you never can tell, you might tell people that will tell people who would assist that your friend.

Do not be selfish!!! Remember you are helping yourself by helping your friend. Besides, if we all keep doing that for one another, everyone of us would surely get help in our various fields (it is a circular thing, it evolves round and round) plus the saying "one good turn deserves another" perfectly describes my point.

Be wise, treat people nicely...

Love or Obsession?

I cried and cried the day his girlfriend called to threaten me to leave her boyfriend alone not only because that was the first time somebody would accuse me of something so disgusting but because I knew I could not stop loving him despite the threat. If you would ask me, I strongly believe that leaving a guy you love very much because his girlfriend threatened you to leave him can be as painful as/be likened to switching off a ceiling fan that is giving you so much pleasure just because the person sitting next to you is cold.

In my own words, love is that uncontrollable feeling that makes you feel hot and cold at the same time of which the object of your love is the only one that can normalize your condition. But come to think of it, this thing called love does not appear clear at times because most times, obsession is usually confused for love. For instance, in a situation whereby you can not sleep without this person,  you would  weep like a baby each time this person promised to show up but never did or even when he or she acts so coldly towards you over the phone,  via a text message or physically. Now do we call all of these love or obsession? That is where the confusion sets in.

Let me continue with the narration of my life experience, this guy I was brooding over was someone I met long before he had a girlfriend and long before I had a boyfriend  too but the courage to speak to him led me forgetting about him, I felt I could never be the first to start talking to a guy not to talk of telling him how I felt so I moved on with my life.

Few years later,  coincidence brought us together  as our paths crossed.  Although I kind of forced it in the sense that I searched and searched various social media outlets and kept asking people until l got his contact. We started talking and became so close plus it was all fun (at last I got what I had always wanted even though we both now had relationship partners). We saw nothing wrong in maintaining that closeness as far as we could always be together. The funny thing was that we were not even dating. My boyfriend (who far away from where I was because of work) began to suspect me one way or the other, my friends warned me and even his girlfriend started complaining to him about his divided attention which all led to the day his girlfriend called me. oh!  I have never been so embarrassed in my whole life but this guy and I still continued enjoying our togetherness despite all that happened (well I never told him about his girlfriend’s call because she threatened me not to, not like I was scared but somethings are better left that way). We were very intimate that oneday we were so carried away that he kissed me and well, I allowed it but we both later agreed that it would never happen again and that we were just friends but we were still so cool with each other after that.

All of a sudden, this guy began to withdraw from me, act so cold during a phone conversation and I felt like my life was ending. I would often cry my eyes out everyday until oneday I mustered the courage to speak up to my boyfriend about all that has happened and how it had been eating me all up. Oh! My boyfriend has a heart of gold, with his beautiful soul,  he was able to forgive me and made me understand that I was only obsessed about this guy and it was not love in the first place. My boyfriend came over to where I was at that time, he built this closeness and trust with me so much that I forgot about the guy after a while and I just could not thank my boyfriend enough.
What happened to the guy? We are still friends till date (no strings attached ofcourse) because he came back giving lame excuses for his actions and even asked me to be his girlfriend officially and I plainly said “NO”. In little words, all I am trying to say is that, try to differentiate if a feeling is of love or of obsession before acting on it. I learnt my lesson.

What I think about very Caring Guys Versus What Others think!!!

Most of the time, we confuse very caring guys to be the perfect kind of men God created.  Not that it is not good for a guy to be caring (at least most ladies love guys that care very much) but there is this thing that seems fake about guys that care too much and I wonder if I am the only one that sees these things. Maybe you would understand better this way;

I met this guy few months ago in an official gathering (more like a conference though). He stole my number while we were all struggling to do our entry registration at the gate and I never noticed. How did I know he stole my number?  Well he told me after we got close. We were literally everywhere together, holding hands during lunch breaks and anyone could easily think we came to the summit together as a couple plus he never let me out of his sight at any slight opportunity he gets to be with me.

Ofcourse,  I was not so cunny and I intended our interaction to be simply based on friendship basis (afterall, the conference would end soon and I was also enjoying his company) so, I told him I had a fiance back home. Well, he was truthful enough to tell me that he used to have a girlfriend but they are no longer together because she fumbled and I did not press further.

This guy did not make his intention hidden on how he would have cared/showered love on me if I was his girlfriend and when my menstrual period came during this conference, he would always make sure I had eaten, I had used some painkiller drugs, offer me jacket whenever I get stained. In summary,  he was all shades of sweetness and I was enjoying it. Lest I forget to add, he never hid the fact about how he would kiss/touch me if we ever happened to be alone so he would always beg me to allow us lodge in an hotel few more days after the summit. He would twist/scratch my palm in public at times and I would feel some kind of electric shock.

Finally,  three weeks came and the official summit/conference was over. This guy was still on my neck to allow us lodge in an hotel for few more days on the last day so I gave in at last. All these while, I would always be very aggressive towards my fiance on phone and he would wonder what was wrong with me so much that I screamed at him on phone oneday that he was choking me.

I lodged in the hotel with this new guy whom I barely knew and the funniest thing was that I paid for the first night with my very own money (I did not see anything wrong with it then though). Do not let me forget to tell you that this guy would often misplace his money during the conference period and I would be the one to make ends meet for him with my own money and even pay for his lunch and dinner sometimes. However, he paid for the second night at the hotel.

So,  what happened on the first night? That was how we landed on the bed o, this guy claimed to be scared to touch me so I was sleeping when he suddenly started bringing his hands, he kissed me, I was reluctant to return the kiss (my conscience just kept calling my fiance’s name) but I did return the kiss at last. He was about to touch my boobs and blah!!!  My phone suddenly rang, it was my fiance calling and my hearts skipped like ten beats faster, I quickly switched off my phone and turned my back against this guy (thinking about what I was about to do).

Despite the fact that I was sweating under the air condition with all that happened, I still allowed this touch and the rest was history (no sex though). Gradually, the three days lodging became over and we returned back to our normal lives in our various locations. I returned back to my fiance but he started feeling so insecure because I could not stop calling/picking this other guy’s call and my fiance and I would always disagree because of this guy all of the time.

All of a sudden, this new guy became so broke (well, that was what he told me). He turned from all shades of sweetness to something I could not describe. I would pray for him that things would be better and he would reject my prayers (things my fiance would never do). He would complain about sickness all the time and how he does not have money to treat himself and I would be so worried because I did not have money to send to him. He was so bitter and always in bad moods that I gradually began to see his true colour. I hustled and got some cash then sent to him (but I told him that I borrowed him the money even though I had no intention of collecting it back). Like magic, this guy returned back to his sweet self and we continued our friendship.

I expected this guy to return my money after few days like he promised but he did not o. I then decided to ask few weeks after just to see his reaction. He gave so many lame excuses and kept on giving me lame excuses till I tired. He stopped calling, texting and I began to wonder what I was doing with this guy in the first place. I started feeling guilty so I confessed everything that happened to my fiance. He forgave me and we moved on with our lives. Well, this guy resurfaced later giving his usual dumb excuses like how his phone got stolen, how he went tirelessly in search of my number and how he wants us to hook up again but all in all, I was so done with him even though we still talk once in a while. Very caring guys are not worth it abeg.

Suicide!!!

I have always wondered why a very lively and happy person would suddenly become very quiet and withdrawn. You know I used to feel no problem of this world is worth the use of one's happiness as an atonement for peace until I met this friend of mine (at the studio where I usually rehearse). Oh!  This girl was so full of joy, fun to be with so much that you can never be sad or bored whenever you are around her. She would even often make advances to me on behalf of her elder brother (all jokes though). All am trying to say is that she was a very nice person in everyway and we became friends in no time. Until when the story changed about two years after I got to know this lady.

It all started out as she missing rehearsals, switching off her phone every now and then and making excuses from time to time about how she could not/would not be able to meet up with our various time to meet for rehearsals. I did not even notice anything owing to the fact that she was always full of smiles and warmth each time I had the opportunity to come across her. I decided to visit her often to know if anything was actually wrong and she was not telling me (probably I could see for myself) but everything seemed as it should be so I reduced the visit so she does not feel choked and continued with my normal life.

Just three months later, I was called and informed that she gave up the ghost (committed suicide properly put). I was told that she drank a chemical solution meant for killing dangerous reptiles and she died on the way as she was being rushed to the hospital. After so much tears and weeping, I began to ponder on why she never told anyone what she was going through. At a point, I even started feeling guilty that I did not pressure her enough to talk but I mean, I tried😑.

People started saying all manner of things like; maybe she was depressed, maybe she was pregnant and did not know who to tell or better still committed an abortion and lost her womb. Well, nobody knows for sure what happened but my point here is directed to the fact that there are some components that needs to be showered vast attention before it heightens to depression. We can say, "depression" is an umbrella word for these components but believe me, these components are umbrella words themselves (they can individually and single-handedly kill a person/make a person commit suicide).

You would ask me what these components are right? Well, those things we treat on the surface level and with very much insignificance like spreading bad words about a person's moral, that is, demoralizing a human being like you with the words of your mouth, another one is, breaking the heart/trust of someone whose life depends on you whether in a relationship or in a friendship (and some people think all this is a joke...). However, some people will say, "why would your life be depended on the trust you have for someone in the first place?" , well as true as this statement may be, the fact remains that there are still people out there who trust you to the bone whether they tell you or not...

No one knows why this young promising female committed suicide in the above write-up but all the same, let us adjust our crooked ways. Let us love again, let us trust again, let us hold back hurt/revenge and lend our helping hands to others, let us breath forgive...We never can tell, we might be saving someone's life...Shalom!!!

"There is so much hate in the world because people have stopped 'feeling' things" _ Itunu Pepper, Music Artiste

Itunu Pepper: Ojoro 

 Itunu Pepper: Ire Cover (Original by Adekunle Gold)

 Itunu Pepper: Ojiro 


*     Can I meet you please?

My name is Itunuoluwa Eweje but I go by Itunu Pepper. I’m a graduate of MA Psychology with business Economics and marketing from University of Dundee. I’m the 3rd of 3 children born of my mom and I have an adopted sister who comes after me.

*     For you, is Music inbuilt or something you developed?

Music has literally become my life. I think it’s inbuilt. It just took me some time to discover. Well, maybe not too long as I fell in love with the art at age 8. I guess I’ve just been on an upward journey ever since

*     How and When did you start as a Music Artiste?

When I started to consider myself an artiste was in 2010 or 11 after I recorded my first song. It was a song I had written my mom for mothers’ day. Hearing how I sounded in record just sucked me right in.

*     As a Music Artiste,how has it been so far and do you just sing during your leisure hours for pleasure or you are a full-time Musician?

Music has been a journey. I’ve had up moments and not so great moments. It stopped being a leisure thing many years ago and I’m not aware that I can’t do without creating music. I’ve tried to quit many times when the going got hard, but I literally couldn’t. I’m currently a full time musician and a songwriter. I also write songs for other artistes.

*     What else do you do apart from Music?

Apart from music I also run a side business of hair care products. We haven’t launched but we’re definitely coming through.

*     What perception about music generally do you want to change in this modern day society that we live in? And what innovations are you planning to bring into the Music Industry?

My perception of music is that it is spiritual. I don’t think I’d change anything. It’s like trying to change the kind of clothes people wear. It’s an expression and for every type of sound, there’s a community of people who deeply appreciate it.
     What I personally bring to the table is the emotional aspect of the art. Because music is spiritual it’s able to do things on the inside that really can’t be explained. There’s so much hate in the world because people have stopped ‘feeling’ things. When you are able to feel things, it makes you more human. 

*     What are the challenges you face as a Music Artiste that you think other artistes might also be facing? And what is your advice for fellow artistes on ways to tackle these challenges? Also your advice for upcoming Music Artistes and youth out there in general?

The challenge with pursuing music is that it is expensive! But thank God for social media. It has really helped a lot. Gone are the days when you must be signed by a label before you ever make something out of your music career. My advise for other artistes trying to break out is put your self out and be consistent. The latter is actually extremely important.

*     What Genre of Music do you sing? And how many singles and collaborations have you been able to pull through so far,that is, recorded,produced,promoted...

My roots are R&B but the African culture has played a huge role in my evolution as an artiste. It’s more of Afro-R&B if I can say that. At this point I think I’ve lost track of how many songs I have done so far. Honestly

*     What Music project are you working on currently that you would want to give us insight about?

I recently put out an EP called ‘Vex Mode’ which I’m extremely proud of. The song off the EP are on all major streaming platforms and also on my YouTube channel ‘Itunu Pepper’. So yeah, we are still on the ‘Vex Mode’ movement.

*     Where do you see yourself in the next five to ten years?

In the next 10 years, I see myself (career wise) touring. I see myself writing songs for major acts around the world. I see myself scouting for talents and making it easier for truest talented individuals to make an impact.

*     How does anyone who would like to listen to your songs download them (The download links for some of your songs would also be available for download on this interview page); Then how would someone who wants to invite you for a show contact you? What are your Social Media handles like your Facebook page and Instagram ID, Twitter Handle?

You can listen to songs on major music streaming platforms like iTunes, Spotify, Deezer and the likes. Some can be downloaded for free as they are on some Nigeria blogs. A quick google search of ‘Itunu Pepper’ should do it. I also have a YouTube channel as I said earlier, where I like to interact on a more personal level with fans of my music. I can be contacted via social media or email for shows, interviews etc. That’s @itunupepper on IG, Twitter and Itunu Pepper on Facebook, itunupepper@gmail.com

Olagbende Rebecca's Blog: Thank you very much for granting an interview with you...May God give you more inspiration for More Excellent Music...

Itunu Pepper: Thanks a lot for reaching out!

 

How do you handle "Competition"?

I had wanted to write about this for a while but I sure did not know which angle to write from. Everyone sure knows what "Competition" means but I will like to awaken your consciousness (that is, if you do not already know) to the fact that we have what is called an "Healthy Competition " and an "Unhealthy Competition".

In my own words, an "Healthy Competition" can mean when two or more people are striving to achieve a common goal for personal gratification without wishing one another any negativity whatsoever while an "Unhealthy Competition" obviously means the opposite.

The above brings me to an opinion that although  some people practice healthy competitions but unhealthy competitions are more prevalent in this generation of ours. Friends want to see their friends fail just because they are not succeeding in their own pursuits.

Therefore, the question remains; "How do you react to competition?". To every man their own but I will like to toss my own side of the coin. Some years ago when I was in school, I always felt compelled to work very hard in school and come out with the best grades majorly because I never wanted to dissapoint my parents.

Year by year, I worked harder and harder in my studies just to maintain the top grade. And whenever a new student who is absolutely intelligent comes to my class. I would begin to read more and work harder automatically. I would even go as far as telling my parents at home to start praying hard for me so that the new student does not take my position at the end of that term (a funny child I was😀).

All in all, what I am trying to say is that, a competitor should bring out the hardworking spirit in you not a negative attribute of not even wishing the person well or saying common "congratulations" when the person actually succeeds.

You should also learn to acknowledge the success of a competitor, and work towards succeeding in that same business also. Little do people know that wishing someone well is one of the prerequisites of succeeding in life businesses...

Have a change of heart today to make your competitor an acquaintance. You do not have to be friends but more importantly, you do not have to be enemies either.

"Most clients use inferior paints only to expect the best"_Decorative Painter, BOMS K. Gift

*     I would like to meet you. My name is Rebecca. How about you?

My name is BOMS Kingsley Gift. I am from Portharcourt, Rivers State. I am into painting...

*     Your kind of painting, is it called just painting or what exactly do you call it?

Decorative painting.

*     Wow cool, from the pictures of your works, you seem really good at what you do, Is decorative painting something you learnt or something u just developed as a talent?

As a talent and also, most of things I see, I recreate my style.

*     For real? No one would believe you didn't learn it...

No, I didn't 😁...That is true.

*     That's lovely, what inspires you to do more of the decorative painting?

I get to see new things coming up on a daily basis, new motivating ideas and then key into it automatically.

*     What exactly is decorative painting all about?

It's a kind of painting that gives your house an awesome look when ever you enter...Likewise giving it a class of its own, depending on what you would prefer being done (the design you want).

*     So since when have you started doing decorative painting?

Since 2013.

*     What challenges do you face as a decorative painter?

Most clients use inferior Paints only to expect the best...

*     Hmmmn🤔, so do you do it as a part-time job or you are fully into it? If it is a part-time job, what else do you do if you are not doing decorative painting somewhere?

Yes, it is a part-time job for me. If I am not working somewhere, I either dance for shows or drum for events (mostly).

*     2013 is a long time, can you recall the names of some places you have worked at and some people you have worked with?

Majority are in Portharcourt, the likes of; Hon. Chima Amadi,  Hon. Felix Anokwuru, Hon.  Emilia and lots more...

*     That is beautiful, if you get an opportunity, would you prefer to have a company that centers on Decorative Painting or simply venture into other things?

I would venture into other things so I can be versatile.

*     Some of which you would like to share?

Well things like;
Modeling, wood crafts, interior designing and many more...

*    Although, I have not really met anyone who does decorative painting in person but what advice would you give anyone who does your kind of painting?

My advice is, keep your dreams alive. Do not be bordered about what you are being paid now but focus on your goals and your tomorrow.

*     Where do you see yourself in the next five to ten years?

I see myself having a big company of my own.

*     If anyone has a job for you, how would he or she contact you?

Email :gblingzz@yahoo.com
Facebook: BOMS Kingsley Gift

Olagbende Rebecca's Blog: Thank you so much for your time, patience and attention...