So many times in the past I have wondered why anyone
from the younger generation would want to be like me because I used to feel I
was not worth a role model. But as soon as I learnt to accept myself, I clearly
saw so many reasons why a younger seed would want to have me as a role model.
If you ask me, I would say an emotional and psychological trauma is worse than
physical death. It is not a matter of “this lady/guy is not ashamed to say
these things in public”, it is a matter of “so many people out there face psychological
and emotional trauma from time to time and we can only help them to accept
themselves by sharing our own experiences of psychological and emotional
trauma.”
While growing up, I was close to having no breasts
compared to my mates and as a result, I was often embarrassed and called
various names directly and indirectly. I started to get worried about it when
younger girls that I was older than started developing bigger and fuller
breasts. The feeling became so awful especially whenever someone that has not
seen me in a long while sees me and tends to conclude with his or her
non-verbal reaction that I haven’t grown just because there was no evidence.
I then started wearing double padded bras just to feel
and look grown but I soon discovered that I was often ashamed to go out without
putting on a doubled padded bra and if at all I mistakenly went out without it,
the moment I saw any one I knew, I would immediately be reminded. I would feel
vulnerable and run back inside the house. Efforts made to convince me that it
was not such a big deal to have small breasts didn’t work until that moment
when I made up my mind to free myself from that trauma and wear bras only when
I feel like and do not wear it whenever I don’t feel like. I became free
indeed.
Another trauma I had to fight while growing was that I
grew so tall very fast that I soon became taller than most of my mates. And it
was worse because I was so thin. It became very embarrassing when my mates
started calling me names like; “Iroko Tree”, “Tallingo”, “Longtitude” and the
likes. I began to dislike my height but come to think of it, I am barely 5.8
inches now.
Moreso, something that often got to me then was the
fact that my siblings could and still can do all manners of creative things. I
felt like I just didn’t know how to do anything but the moment I started
spending enough time to discover myself, I was able to accept the fact that
every child is unique in his or her own way and that we all possess diverse
gifts.
Are you the type that feels you are not beautiful
enough or you don’t like the shape of your face? I was once like you, I never
believed I was naturally beautiful, I never had the confidence to go out
without wearing make-up so I often go about wearing make-up no matter how mild
and that was one of the reasons why I became a make-up artist; I wanted to have
the autonomy to be able to look good at all times without anyone’s help. But
look at me today, I now prefer my make-up free face even as a Make-up artist.
If you are the type that feel insecure because other girls or guys of your age
have cool shapes and are very muscular, you need not to worry anymore, all you
need to do is accept yourself and you will forever be able to explore a world
of peace.
